Most marriages will face strain at some time. After the initial attraction and romantic feelings of being in love wanes, living together brings up practical issues to be resolved due to individual differences. The problem can become aggravated with stress, financial issues, lack of work-life balance, or extramarital affairs.
Over time the gap can widen, leading to maladaptive communication patterns, straining the connection and intimacy. Often in a marriage, compatibility does not determine it’s destiny, a healthy approach to dealing with the incompatibility does.
Marriage counselling can benefit the partners to bridge this gap to lead a healthy, fulfilling life. It’s never too early or too late to seek help; small changes can go a long way in fostering a healthy marriage.
Some marriages may even experience serious problems such as violence and extramarital affairs. These not only threaten the wellbeing of partners but also everyone in the family.
Partners and family members might need external help to stabilise their relationship and help them feel safe.
When to seek help to save the marriage?
Some of the common signs that a marriage could benefit from marriage counselling are
- when one partner feels excessively controlled or not respected by the other
- lack of intimacy, affection and trust between partners
- when the partners are barely communicating or connecting or have frequent & intense arguments
- when partners lead separate lives, even though living under one roof
- when one is contemplating or having an extramarital affair
- sex life has come to a stop or has dramatically reduced
- when one partner wants a break-up, but the other is keen on healing the relationship
How does marriage counselling help?
At Psynaptica, our psychologists are objective and unbiased and use evidence-based approaches to reach the goals. Our psychologist will have combined sessions with the partners and individual sessions with each one separately.
They will help work with the partners and facilitate them to express their views and experience in a safe space. They use an evidence-based approach to help the partners develop a deeper understanding and respect for each other. Over time, when both partners commit and engage in the therapy process, they begin to see healthy patterns and positive outcomes to the relationship.
It’s not uncommon when one partner wants to work on the marriage by engaging in therapy while the other does not. A good starting point will be for the partner considering marriage counselling to seek professional help. Psychologists will work with this partner to identify the maladaptive patterns and change some of their behaviour to impact the relationship and the other partner. This process will further help the partner learn skills to cope with issues that they can’t as an individual change in the relationship. This change can lead to the other partner becoming more willing to engage in therapy.